Masquerade
by dracosoftie
Summary: Harry finally finishes the Twilight series, and Draco throws him a party to celebrate. With everyone Polyjuiced as Twilight characters, will they find each other? H/D and other pairings. Warnings for slash, language and explicit sexual content.


***

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyer, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, Little, Brown, Summit Entertainment and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Author's note:** Many thanks to Selly, who came up with the idea for this fic. You can check out her prequel to Masquerade at www.[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/s/5079811/1/ . It's fabulous! *grins*

If you aren't a Twilight fan the story will still be interesting, but it will help to have at least a passing knowledge of the characters and their looks/mannerisms. It's still very much an HP story, though, **not** a crossover. Warnings for a bit of femmeslash, female masturbation, explicit male slash, rimming, adultery and angst.

***

"Alright everyone," Draco said, clapping his hands together imperiously. "The standard waivers are on the table. If everyone will sign one we'll be ready to begin."

Ron gaped at the blond, his mouth hanging open. A waiver? For a party? _What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?_ he wondered, edging closer to Hermione so he could wrap a protective arm around her shoulders.

"Honestly, _Gryffindors_," Pansy hissed in annoyance, pushing Neville toward the table.

"Wait," Harry interrupted, standing on a chair so everyone could see him. "Gryffindor or no, it's not wise to enter into a contract, which that waiver most certainly _is,_ Draco," he said, glaring at the man at his side, "without knowing the terms."

Draco sighed, enlarging the chair under Harry's feet – making the dark-haired man stumble – and climbing up beside him. Part of him was glad his parents had already given up all hope for him; really, what would they say if they knew he was standing on a Louis XVI chair?

"As specified in the invitation," he said sharply, rolling his eyes as he spoke, "which you all must have agreed with, or you wouldn't be here, this is a masquerade party to celebrate Harry _finally_ finishing the Twilight series."

The crowd jeered, making Harry blush. He'd been the last of their group of friends to come around to Stephenie Meyers' ridiculous Muggle books, but he'd become just as addicted as the rest of them. When Draco had suggested this party, he'd been about three levels past excited. But now, with more than a dozen of their friends gathered in the receiving room at the Manor, he was suddenly less sure.

Draco hopped down and grabbed one of the waivers on the table before rejoining Harry.

"This is the standard waiver anyone attending a Slytherin party in school signed," he said, waving the thick document in the air. "It absolves the host of responsibility for any injuries to body or character that occur during the party. By signing it you agree to participate in the activities we have planned, and you also agree not to file charges – criminal or civil – against the hosts, in this case Harry and me, if anything goes wrong."

Harry grimaced at his friends' expressions. Luna was the only one who didn't look shocked by the contents of the waiver, but he wouldn't be surprised if she'd been a regular attendant of the famed Slytherin parties. None of the Gryffindors had, certainly, but he'd heard stories from Draco.

"It's also a nondisclosure agreement," Harry said, keeping his face carefully neutral as he looked out over their friends. "Anything that happens at the party is not to be discussed with anyone who was not in attendance. Oh, and no photos. That's a part of it as well."

By now most of the Gryffindors, except for Ginny and Dean, looked positively green. Harry thought the contract was unnecessary, but Draco had insisted. The party promised to be a wild – and interesting – one, and Slytherins didn't trust anyone, even their so-called friends, he'd told Harry.

"If you don't sign you won't be able to participate," Draco said, pulling everyone's attention back to him. "I can tell you a bit about our plans, if that sets your minds at ease."

He smirked as all of the Gryffindors in attendance, including Harry, nodded. They were so revoltingly honest and aboveboard. What fun was a party like this if you knew what was coming? That was half the excitement.

"Those of you who grew up in the wizarding world have probably heard of Polyjuice masquerades?" All of the pure-blood witches and wizards nodded. They were traditionally only hosted by the Darker families, but there was nothing inherently illegal about them. "We'll be having a Twilight Polyjuice masquerade tonight. If you agree to participate, you'll be given a flask of Polyjuice containing the hair of a randomly chosen character. You'll be expected to Transfigure your clothes to match that character and adopt that character's mannerisms for the evening."

Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but Draco cut her off.

"There is nothing illegal about what we are about to do, Hermione. Certainly nothing that would endanger your position as clerk to the Wizengamot." She pursed her lips, still regarding Draco with narrowed eyes. "The Polyjuice is totally legal. I brewed it myself, and we got the hairs from a company that specializes in celebrities. They were obtained legitimately, though I have no idea how the company negotiates with the actors."

"Does that mean we're limited to characters from the first movie?" Pansy broke in, frowning.

"It does. The Polyjuice itself is a special brew I've perfected. It's not commercially available yet, but it will be soon. It lasts six hours and gives the user the person's appearance as well as voice."

"We don't get to chose?" Lavender piped up, her hands set against her hips. "Will the transformations be of the same gender?"

Draco smiled, raising his eyebrows. From the sound of it, they were all going to participate. They just didn't know it yet.

"No. It would be too easy to guess identities if we limited it like that. Half the fun is trying to decide who a person really is, wouldn't you say? The other, of course, is just enjoying the experience, regardless of who is actually behind the face you're snogging."

Theo laughed, obviously catching Draco's oblique reference to a Slytherin party they'd had in their repeat seventh year. It had been the catalyst for Draco's relationship with Harry. Theo had been Polyjuiced as the Savior of the Wizarding World, carrying on for the night with a witch who appeared to be Daphne Greengrass but who had actually been Draco. The blond had always leaned toward blokes, but his night with "Harry" had been enough to convince him the attraction he'd always felt for the dark-haired Gryffindor was more than just a passing fancy. They'd started dating shortly after leaving Hogwarts, and they'd been together ever since.

"Snogging? Draco, I don't feel –"

Harry held his hand up, shaking his head.

"Hannah, no one will make you do anything you don't want to do. Traditionally these parties have devolved into little more than orgies, but I doubt that will happen here," he said, giving Draco a stern look. "You're all in committed relationships. Hell, half of you are married. It's up to you and your partner whether or not you want to experiment tonight. We can promise you discretion, but everything else is up to you."

The room buzzed with conversation. Harry could tell that most of the Slytherins, his husband included, wanted the freedom to experiment. Harry was happy to give him the opportunity – to a point. He Summoned a box full of ornate silver flasks filled with Polyjuice. Each of them was engraved with the date and the word "Twilight".

"If you agree to the terms, step forward and sign a waiver. Harry will hand you a flask of Polyjuice after you sign. We have cubicles set up for you to transform in," Draco said, waving his hand at a blank wall that turned into a bank of cozy cubicles, each shielded from view by a green curtain. "Please make sure you Transfigure your clothes to match your new face. Mirrors are inside, of course."

Blaise and Pansy strode forward immediately, signing their names with a flourish. Harry hopped down from his chair, careful not to jostle the flasks, and handed one to each of them.

"Please stay inside your cubicle until instructed to come out," Draco said, winking at his eager friends. "Our house-elf Tibby will lead us all to the tent we've erected for the party. I only ask that you keep to the tent and the grounds immediately surrounding it. My parents are in residence at the moment, and we don't want to give them any more nasty shocks, do we?"

Everyone laughed at the way Harry colored. The elder Malfoys had not been pleased that their only heir had set his sights on another boy. Only the fact that he was Harry Potter had saved Draco from being disinherited. They were still uncomfortable with the relationship, despite the fact that the men had been married for four years. At twenty-seven, both had successful careers and positive public images, something the Malfoys reluctantly took comfort in. The marriage had definitely redeemed the Malfoy name, but Harry knew Draco's parents would never fully accept their relationship.

Harry glared at Draco, handing flasks to Ginny and Dean next. They'd been together for just six months, so he wasn't surprised to see them agreeing to the terms. He wondered if the married couples – aside from Pansy and Blaise, who'd married for convenience right out of school and often had rather blatant affairs – would participate.

He watched Ron and Hermione quietly argue off to the side, fervently hoping the party wasn't creating a rift between the couple. They'd been married for nearly seven years, and he knew Ron's mum's constant prodding about grandchildren was beginning to take its toll on them. Ron wanted children, but Hermione didn't. He'd hoped this party could be a bit of fun for them, but if they were fighting already –

"Do what you like, Ronald," Hermione spat, stalking toward the table. She signed her name, putting more emphasis on the Granger than the Weasley, and grabbed a flask from Harry without sparing her husband a glance.

Ron huffed out an angry sigh and followed suit.

"I'm not letting her into that den of iniquity without someone to keep an eye on her," he growled, glaring at Draco.

"Using that word of the day calendar your lovely wife gave you last year?" Draco answered, plucking a flask from the box to hand to him. "Den of iniquity, indeed. You'll all be Polyjuiced, Weasley. How to you intend to, as you say, 'keep an eye on her' if you don't know who she is?"

Harry chuckled uneasily, watching Ron's fingers whiten as they tightened around the flask. He stormed off, pulling the curtain to his cubicle shut with such force he nearly rent it in half.

"You Malfoys sure know how to throw a party," Harry muttered, watching the still-fluttering curtain.

"_We_ Malfoys, you mean?" Draco countered, grinning when Harry shot him a look of annoyance. His concession to Draco's parents had been taking their name. Harry Potter-Malfoy. He set his jaw, holding out the box for Hannah and Theo to choose their flasks. He hated that name.

In the end, everyone agreed to the terms, albeit some of them – like Ron – did so reluctantly. Neville had never denied his girlfriend of two years, Lavender, anything, and she was determined to participate. Seamus and Oliver, together for three years, were always up for a game and had no aversion to sharing with others. Greg and Luna were the last to sign, not because of any apprehension, but because Luna wanted to wait until most of the flasks had been taken.

"Nargles," she said simply when Draco questioned her, flouncing away toward one of the open cubicles.

Greg merely shrugged, long used to his wife's eccentricities. He grabbed a flask, winking at Harry as he made his way toward his own cubicle.

"Just two left, then," Draco said, meeting Harry's eye.

They'd agreed to let whatever happened happen at the party, but Draco had to admit he really had no desire to be with anyone but Harry. They'd been faithful during their courtship, except for one slip up on his part that he'd already atoned for, and for all of their marriage. The fact that Harry was willing to agree to this meant a lot to Draco, even if he wasn't planning on partaking in any lewd behavior.

"Just two," Harry agreed, his green eyes sparkling. He set the box on the table, pulling Draco close for a deep kiss. He nibbled on Draco's lower lip in the way he knew the blond loved before releasing him. "You choose."

Draco grabbed one of the flasks, handing the remaining one to Harry. He called for a house-elf, instructing it to gather everyone together in exactly five minutes and take them out to the waiting tent in the gardens.

"I love you, you know," Draco whispered, wrapping his arms around Harry's shorter frame as he walked them toward the two remaining cubicles. They were spelled to rotate as soon everyone was inside, ensuring no one knew who anyone was after the transformations.

"I know," Harry answered, tilting his head back so Draco could kiss him on the forehead before pushing him into a cubicle. "I love you, too."

***

The transformation wasn't as painful as the last time Harry had used Polyjuice, and he figured he had Draco to thank for that. The blond had been working on this improved version of the potion for years, and he'd only perfected it several months ago. The celebrity Polyjuice company had been more than happy to supply them with the hairs they'd requested free of charge once Draco offered the store the chance to sell the potion.

Harry grinned, looking at himself in the mirror. He preened a bit, enjoying the chance to explore the unfamiliar face and body in the full-length mirror. He brought a hand up to run through his hair, smirking as he did so. The expression looked odd on his new face, and he laughed in surprise.

He glanced down at his clothes, biting his lip as he tried to figure out what he should wear. Moments later he'd tapped his wand against his clothing, changing it from his casual denims and loose T-shirt into something more appropriate. The dark fabric of his shirt trained over his defined chest, draping nicely over the firm stomach muscles he'd already peeked at.

Harry smiled at himself in the mirror, thankful that he hadn't drawn a woman's name. He had _no_ curiosity about being fucked as a woman. He quite liked all his bits. Harry ran a hand over his body, giving himself an appreciative leer in the mirror before tucking his wand into the back of his trousers and waiting for the house-elf's signal.

***

Draco smirked at himself in the large mirror, stripping down completely so he could examine every part of his new body. He needed to see what he was working with, after all. He couldn't possibly go into this without knowing exactly what kind of goods he had to offer.

He grinned as his hands slid over firm, pale flesh. _Not so different from mine_ _after all_, he mused, amending the thought when he pinched at nipples that were much more sensitive than his own. _This is definitely going to be interesting_, he noted with interest.

***

The curtains all drew open at the same time with a sweep of Tibby's wizened hand. The house-elf stood before the group of witches and wizards, silently shaking his head at his master's latest folly. He'd seen much worse, having worked at the Manor for some eighty years, but this party was exactly the reason so many believed the pure-blood families to be without morals.

Tibby sighed, raising his hand once again, this time to Summon all the guest's wands. He had instructions to take those of Master Harry and Master Draco as well, and he knew he'd likely have to slam his ears in the oven to make up for it later.

"What the –"

"Bloody fucker just –"

"Draco, where _are_ you, you bastard? You never said –"

"Holy hell, what –"

"Do you see? Hermione, do you _see?_ Where are you? This was a horrible idea –"

"Silence!"

Surprisingly, everyone heeded the diminutive elf's shout, likely because it held sixteen wands in its outstretched hands.

"Master Harry be giving Tibby instructions," the elf said, ignoring the muttering that was steadily growing louder again. "No wands. Please be following Tibby."

With that, the elf turned on its heel and marched out of the room, leading them back down the stairs into the entry way and out the front doors to the Manor. Still outraged by the loss of their wands but curious nonetheless, the group of Polyjuiced witches and wizards followed obediently, many still cursing Harry for having them disarmed. He followed suit, of course, hiding his snickers as he called himself several very creative names. He didn't want anyone to figure out who he was this early, after all.

They made their way across the well-tended front lawn, eyeing each other suspiciously and falling into a rather stiff single-file line as they continued to follow the house-elf. Tibby turned abruptly, leading them into a row of hedges that concealed a very large white tent. Hermione gasped; she could feel the waves of strong magic the structure emanated. Instead of feeling apprehensive, she felt her heart quicken with excitement. She followed along eagerly when the house-elf lifted the flap, inviting the guests into the tent.

The dark mutterings that had been on everyone's lips immediately ceased when they crowded inside. They'd expected to see the same plain canvas walls they'd seen outside, so they were understandably shocked when they stepped into a lush scene straight out of the novels. Greenery was everywhere, dripping in the form of soft moss from the obscured ceiling, trees with branches sweeping low, their tender leaves brushing against skin as everyone made their way deeper into the magically enhanced space.

It was easily ten times as big inside as it had appeared outside, and every bit of it was filled with the same verdant foliage that had been so aptly described in the books. Hannah reached a hand out, trailing unfamiliar fingers over a moss-covered outcropping of rock that was surprisingly soft to the touch. She gaped at her fingers when they drew away with a coating of dirt, realizing it wasn't an illusion.

Tibby waited patiently as the group slowly scattered, intent on exploring their surroundings. He'd been told to expect this by his masters, who had spent the better part of two weeks setting this up. He and the other house-elves had helped, lending their odd brand of magic to create this unexpected paradise.

No one noticed the shimmer of magic as they entered the tent, too focused on the green splendor inside to feel the effects of the gentle persuasion spell. It had been Draco's idea, but Harry had agreed it was a good one. It prevented the guests from telling anyone their real identity, though the charm would be broken as soon as someone correctly guessed who they were.

Two house-elves busied themselves in the corner, setting up a table full of refreshments for the evening. Tibby himself would stay to oversee the party, as his masters had requested. The house-elf Banished the wands he was holding to the safe box Master Harry had prepared earlier, clapping his hands to gain everyone's attention. It felt uncomfortably like overstepping his bounds, but Master Harry had explained that they needed Tibby to be the host for the evening, since he and Master Draco didn't want to give their identities away.

When he had everyone back together, Tibby explained the rules again – the same ones Draco and Harry had laid out earlier – and pointed then in the direction of the refreshment table. He dismissed the other elves, taking his place behind the table to prepare drinks.

"Firewhisky," a beautiful young woman said, her face set in a frown. Tibby quickly poured the drink, handing it to the sullen woman.

"Esme," a handsome young man said, bowing as he approached her. "May I escort you to a seat?"

Esme hesitated, her eyes carefully studying the man in front of her, desperately trying to find anything she could recognize in him. Her frown deepened, but she held out a delicate, pale arm for him to take.

"Carlisle. Of course."

***

Jacob watched the guests interact, an amused smile on his face as he saw them grouping together just like they did in the book. Alice hovered in the corner near the drinks with Jasper, striking up a rather stilted conversation, from what he could tell. Rosalie and Emmett were making out at one of the tables, which made him smirk. _Probably Slytherins, then_, he decided, figuring the Gryffindors in attendance would need to be much drunker than they were to start experimenting like that.

He made his way over to a lone figure hunched over a table, nursing what looked like gin and tonic.

"You look unhappy, Charlie," he said, chucking the man under his chin to gain his attention.

"Fuck off," Charlie answered, sneering at him over the rim of his glass. "At least _you_ got someone _good."_

Jacob laughed, shrugging his shoulders.

"Luck of the draw. Our positions could easily have been switched," he said lightly, taking the glass out of Charlie's hands and sipping it himself. Without warning, he set the glass aside and ducked to capture Charlie's mouth, his tongue slipping between the man's lips and stroking against his tongue.

"_I_ don't see anything wrong with being Charlie," Jacob said easily when he pulled back, tweaking Charlie on the nose. "Go out there and have fun."

***

Jasper stumbled backward when Alice moved in to kiss him, landing arse-first in a large potted palm. Alice's tinkling laugh made him clench his jaw, even as he accepted her small hand to help him up.

"I'm sorry," the dark-haired wraith said, her eyes sparkling with mirth. "I should have asked. May I kiss you, Jasper?"

Jasper's brow furrowed as he considered the polite question. _Could_ she kiss him? Would that be breaking any of the rules he'd given himself for the party? He decided it wouldn't, and he opened his arms, letting her cuddle close. Alice boosted herself onto her toes, letting her soft lips brush over his.

"Sorry, this is weird," Alice trilled, backing out of Jasper's loose embrace. "Sorry."

Jasper laughed, just barely resisting the urge to swipe his hand across his mouth. It _had_ been weird.

"No apologies necessary. Shall we mingle?"

***

The sandy-haired boy couldn't help but flinch when a trio of dangerous vampires came strolling toward him.

"Mike Newton," Victoria greeted him, inclining her head as she slid into one of the empty seats at his table. She nodded to his empty hands, cocking her face toward him. "Not drinking?"

The boy flushed, quickly withdrawing his hands from the table and wedging them under his legs.

"I'm not a big drinker," he said quietly, trying not to flinch when Laurent stroked a finger down his cheek.

"That's a shame," the dark vampire said, letting his hand fall to his side. "It's less fun if you're sober."

James sighed, shoving Laurent back a few paces with a hand to his bare chest.

"Leave off," he said, swiveling to smile kindly at Mike. The expression looked odd on his face, since Mike had only seen it snarled in anger in the movie. "Want a Butterbeer? I could ask the house-elf to fetch some."

Mike nodded standing awkwardly when James grabbed his upper arm. The two strode off to the refreshment table, still arm-in-arm.

"Listen, Nev, you've got to put a bit more effort into it, yeah?" James said quietly, his lips soft against the shell of Neville's ear.

"How did you –"

"You're the only one in the bunch who doesn't drink anything harder than Butterbeer," James explained, laughing softly as Neville cursed. "No matter. We'll ask the house-elf to get you a supply of Butterbeer, and you can have it charm the glass to look like Firewhisky or something. I won't tell anyone."

Neville looked at his companion, searching for anything recognizable. He was fairly sure it was a Gryffindor, since none of the Slytherins cared enough to help him out.

"Pretty ironic, isn't it?" Neville said ruefully as they waited for Tibby to retrieve a supply of Butterbeer from the Manor. "Neville Longbottom and Mike Newton – I can't escape the inept persona even at a Polyjuice masquerade!"

"Oh, Nev," James said, his crimson eyes sad. "You're not inept."

The vampire ducked his head, closing the distance between them before Neville could object and pressing a soft kiss against his lips. To his surprise, Neville felt himself respond, pressing his unfamiliar body against James.

Tibby cleared his throat, interrupting their kiss by holding out a glass that looked exactly like Firewhisky but smelled and tasted – after Neville's tentative sip – like Butterbeer. He nodded his thanks to the elf, who looked impressed that anyone at a Malfoy party would choose not to drink.

"Go out there and have fun," James whispered, kissing him briefly before pushing him out into the crowd.

***

Bella drifted over toward Edward, hoping for a quick kiss or at least some conversation, but squeaked in surprise when she peeked behind the large tree she'd seen him duck behind. He was wrapped around Eric Yorkie. His pale fingers were buried in sleek dark hair, and she could see Eric's hands wrestling with Edward's belt.

Blushing, Bella ducked back out into the clearing where most of the guests were congregating. Clearly Edward and Eric needed their privacy. She pouted for a moment, wondering why if Edward had to be into blokes – which probably meant he was one of the gay men at the party – he couldn't have been snogging Jacob. Bella sighed, imagining the handsome vampire wrapped around a very different body. _Yes,_ she thought, scanning the crowd for the dark-haired werewolf. _That would be an excellent idea. I wonder if Jacob likes men?_

***

Jacob bit back a laugh when he saw Alice's hand sneak underneath Esme's waistband. The two vampires were sitting almost indecently close, their hands wandering as they kissed. He'd seen Esme's stilted interaction with Carlisle earlier, which made him wonder if Esme was really a man, and a straight one at that. He let his gaze linger appreciatively, wandering over both women's tight curves and smooth skin. He could definitely see the appeal.

He nearly dropped his drink when a pair of hands spun him around, lips meeting his without the barest of warning. He relaxed, bringing his arms around the attacker's slim shoulders. He felt a tongue probing his lips and opened his mouth, allowing deeper access. Jacob let his hands run over the smaller body in his arms, moaning lightly when soft breasts pushed against his firm chest.

"Hello, Rosalie," he managed, backing out of her embrace as gracefully as he could without hitting the table behind him. The beautiful girl smirked at him, her eyebrows raised in challenge.

"I noticed you'd been snogging your way around the room, and I thought I'd jump in line," she purred, clearly ready for another go. Jacob took another step back, putting more distance between them.

"Indeed," he said, winking at her but shaking his head when she moved forward. "Uh-uh, Rose. I'm a hot commodity – wouldn't want to deprive the rest of the party their chance, would we?"

She pouted prettily, but Jacob only laughed. He pointed over his shoulder at Mike Newton, who was standing off to himself.

"Why don't you give him a go? You know what they say about the quiet ones."

Rosalie laughed, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Sure, Jacob," she simpered, blowing him a kiss before making her way toward the solitary man.

***

Jessica Stanley left the tent as soon as the festivities began. She wandered aimlessly through the Malfoy gardens, though she hadn't strayed too far from the tent itself, Draco's warning to stay within the party's wards ringing in her head.

She looked down at herself, wondering what she should do for the evening. She had no intention of shagging or snogging anyone that evening, and she didn't want to witness anyone else's indiscretions, either. Just in case that person turned out to be her spouse.

She lifted the bottle of champagne she'd snagged from the refreshment table on the way out to her lips, taking a healthy swig of the cold, bubbly wine. She shivered slightly, the cold liquid sliding down her throat chilling her as much as the light summer breeze that cut right through the thin blouse she was wearing.

She sighed, finding a nice spot in the grass and sprawling on the ground, careful not to upend the champagne bottle when she set it on the ground. The party had only just started; what was she going to do? She was embarrassed the be in this body and uncomfortable with the premise of the party –spending the evening watching them seduce each other hardly seemed like a good time.

Despite her feelings about adultery, which was surely what was going on in that tent, she felt a wave of arousal roll over her. It felt strange in this body, much more gentle than the hot bursts she was used to. Biting her lip, she let one of her hands snake down to the waistband of her skirt, stroking the soft skin there. The wave of arousal seemed to grow with each touch against her skin, a curious fullness and heat building in her belly.

Could she really do this? It wasn't technically cheating if it was with yourself, was it? Jessica took another long pull from the now nearly empty bottle of champagne, holding the cool bottle against her flushed face. When another wave of arousal – this one a bit more urgent than the last had been – swept through her, she set the bottle aside with a shaky hand. It only took her a few seconds to unclasp the fasteners on her skirt and inch it past her hips, exposing the boxer shorts she hadn't bothered to Transfigure into knickers. Those were pushed down to her knees moments later, and she gasped aloud as her fingers caressed the soft folds of flesh underneath. She took a shuddering breath as her slim fingers delved between the lips, sinking into a soft, wet heat that was both unfamiliar and familiar at the same time. After all, she'd done this to a woman – she blinked, fuzzily focusing on her wife's face in her alcohol-soaked mind – thousands of times. It felt so different than wanking. The sensations weren't as sharp, and the pleasure seemed to radiate from her center rather than to throb. It was pleasant, though different.

She experimented, losing her hesitancy as her pleasure grew. Soon she was dipping her fingers deeper into herself, spreading the slippery wetness she found there over her clit as she stroked herself, her fingers moving in faster and faster circles against the tiny bud as she built her way toward orgasm.

"Oh Merlin," she gasped, her fingers moving as fast as they could over her swollen clit. "Oh Merlin, oh Merlin, OH –"

Her whole body began to convulse with the force of her orgasm, her breaths coming in short gasps as unintelligible words fell from her lips. As her pleasure crescendoed she bucked up, her fingers still moving against her clit, as she whimpered.

"Hermione!"

***

Jacob wandered over to a large log that had fallen on its side, making an ideal bench. Charlie and Carlisle were perched on it, snogging heavily. He paused a moment to watch, casting a critical eye on Carlisle's technique. Charlie certainly had no complaints about it, but it looked like the vampire patriarch was a bit overly fond of tongue for his tastes. _At least Charlie finally decided to have fun_, he thought with a grin as he picked his way through a bank of ferns.

He moved on, letting the couple continue in relative privacy. The heavily wooded area they were in shielded them from casual glances, though he was sure neither Charlie nor Carlisle would care if anyone watched. He was fairly certain they were both Slytherins, and everyone knew Slytherins were infamous for their exhibitionism.

He could hear Victoria and Emmett talking nearby and made his way toward their voices. He found them sharing a small table toward the edge of the clearing, both deep in discussion about Victoria's motivation for her vendetta against Bella in book three.

"I still say she should have cut and run," Victoria argued, gesturing vaguely with her half-full drink. "It was the logical thing to do. I understand she was hurt, but she should have thought about the bigger picture. Would James have wanted her to die simply because he had?"

"Logic," Emmett spat, waving the comment away with a large, pale hand. "Logic has nothing to do with it. Her lover had been killed. She had every right to seek revenge. And why bring James into it at all? He was dead, for Merlin's sakes! He couldn't have had an opinion either way."

"Whatever the cost?" Victoria asked, raising a manicured brow.

"Whatever the cost," Emmett agreed, slamming back the rest of his Firewhisky. "Of course, if she'd been smart, she'd never have allowed herself to be caught. She nearly had a perfect plan, but she let her emotions get in the way."

"Emotions?" Victoria cried, her mouth hanging open in outrage. "What is vengeance if not an emotion?"

Emmett leveled a cool gaze at her, assessing her with his eyes.

"A right," he drawled, pushing away from the small table and heading toward the bar for another drink.

Jacob slunk out of the shadows, not even casting a glance at Victoria as he followed the large vampire. He caught him just as he made it to the bar, wrapping his long, brown fingers around a solid bicep.

"Emmett," Jacob said with a feral grin. He pulled the other man around until their bodies were flush and then ravaged his mouth in a fierce kiss. Emmett offered no resistance, melting into Jacob's arms and returning the kiss with equal viciousness.

Jacob pulled back, grinning at the tall man. He pressed another kiss to his throat before whispering something in his ear. Emmett grinned and rolled his eyes, playfully pushing Jacob away.

"Leave it to you to be able to figure it out through a kiss," he said with a laugh. "Go on, then. I'm not the one you're looking for, now am I?"

Jacob flashed him a grin before disappearing back into the crowd, leaving Emmett to sigh longingly and stare after him for long moments before he remembered himself. He turned to the house-elf, barking out his drink order with unnecessary force.

"Firewhisky. A double."

***

Jasper had mingled with most of the party guests, but he'd yet to find what he was looking for. He'd already turned down several very enticing offers for the evening, but he didn't feel more than a passing regret over saying no – he didn't want a night of mindless sex with just anyone. He wanted a night of mind_ful_ sex with the person he loved. In someone else's body. Because _damn,_ that was hot.

He paced restlessly, looking for the people he hadn't already mingled with. He'd yet to find Edward or Eric, and he'd only had passing glances of Jessica, Mike, Jacob and Esme. One of them _had_ to be the person he was looking for.

Jasper growled softly to himself when he saw Alice pulling Esme into the shadows, launching himself in that direction.

***

Jacob laughed out loud when he quite literally stumbled across Eric and Edward sprawled on the forest floor. They were both gloriously naked, giving Jacob quite an eyeful.

"Care to join us?" Edward asked, holding out his hand in welcome. Jacob took it and allowed himself to be pulled down to the soft nest of leaves and vines the two lovers had made for themselves.

"You've been here the entire time?" Jacob asked, impressed with their stamina. The party had been going for hours, and he hadn't seen either of them in all that time.

"Pretty much," Eric said, shrugging his thin shoulders.

A rustle of leaves caught Jacob's attention, and he barely had time to brace himself before a naked Edward was straddling him, pinning him to the soft ground. He watched with rapt attention as the bronze-haired man leaned forward to capture his wrists and hold them above his head. Edward's lips were hovering just above his own, and Jacob smiled as he breathed in the familiar cinnamon scent of his breath just before the vampire's mouth descended on his.

Eric made no protest, his hand moving to his crotch to stroke his awakening erection lazily as he watched the two men in front of him. They truly looked amazing together, light on dark, a juxtaposition of everything that _shouldn't_ happen in the world of Twilight. He found he quite enjoyed it.

Unfamiliar lips caressed his in a very familiar way, and Jacob sighed and relaxed into Edward's embrace. He let the other man's tongue leisurely explore his mouth, taking note of all of the nooks and crannies, stroking against his tongue languidly. When Edward finally drew back, Jacob groaned at the loss.

"Nice," Eric said, his eyes still glued to them as he stroked himself. He hadn't figured it would be this much of a turn on to watch two men go at it, but he thought part of it might be that he knew their true identities; Edward's at least, and he had a very good idea of who Jacob was.

"Different," Edward said, cocking his head to study both Jacob and Eric. A lazy grin spread across his beautiful face. "Want to try a threesome?"

Jacob's laugh turned into a cough at the words, and Edward climbed off, helping him into a sitting position so he could regain his breath.

"Should have known better," Edward said wryly, patting Jacob on the back until the other man stopped coughing.

"Shame," Eric said, his hand still on his cock.

Jacob blushed slightly, his cheeks coloring even more when Edward pointed out how adorable it was.

"No thanks," Jacob said, catching Edward's hand in a fond squeeze to take the bite out of his refusal.

Edward nodded, kissing his cheek lightly as he helped him up.

"I found Greg right away, so I can't help you," Luna said, falling into her Eric's open arms. "We were having too much fun to mingle, until you came along."

She gave Greg a sly look. "Perhaps we should go see if we can find another willing third, Eric dear?"

Greg laughed and rolled with her in his arms, both of them covered in leaves and twigs.

"Can we do it naked?" he growled, eliciting giggles from Edward and a laugh from Jacob.

"No."

"Then no, we cannot leave to find a third," he answered, cutting whatever she had been about to say off with a kiss.

Jacob snickered and shook his head, leaving them to their fun. He couldn't say he was surprised that either of them had found each other so easily; Luna, after all, had always been a bit special. He was sure the Polyjuice wasn't a deterrent to her, since she often had ways of detecting a person's presence that he could never understand.

***

Jacob sank into the chair next to Mike, seriously regretting the motorcycle boots he'd Transfigured from his comfortable trainers. It had seemed like a great outfit – and an excuse to wear skintight leather trousers – but he was paying for it now.

"Didn't find anyone to your liking?" Jacob asked the morose young man who was twirling his glass on its edge, watching the amber liquid inside swirl around.

"Rosalie," he answered absently, his attention focused on the heavy crystal glass in his hands.

"Ah," Jacob said, watching him carefully. He'd thought he'd known who Mike was, but perhaps he'd been mistaken.

"She decided she'd rather go off with James," he said dully, letting the glass spill, sending fragrant Firewhisky across the table.

Jacob immediately went for his wand to Banish the quickly spreading liquid, cursing when he remembered it wasn't there. He settled for running his palm across the smooth table, brushing most of it to the ground.

"Sorry," Mike said with a grimace.

"Listen, Neville," Jacob began, startled when the other man tossed the glass in hand at a tree behind his head. It shattered, glass raining down on the soft, mossy ground.

"Fuck you," Neville shouted, standing up abruptly. "Everyone knows who I am. Do you think I don't know who _she_ is? I do. And who James is? I have a pretty good guess about that one, too. She's wanted to fuck Harry Potter for ages now, think she'll be happy when she finds out she finally got to? Or will she be upset she didn't get the full experience, with his famous scar and green eyes? Will she be jealous when she finds out he kissed _me_, too?"

Jacob gaped at the usually mild-mannered man in front of him, at a loss for words. So he knew Rosalie was Lavender, then. And it sounded like she had a good idea she'd just abandoned her boyfriend to go off with someone else.

"Neville, I'm sorry," he said, feeling as though the words were woefully inadequate. Whatever he was about to say next was cut off when Jasper came out of nowhere, tackling Mike and sending both of them tumbling to the ground.

***

James and Bella were sitting just out of sight, gossiping about the scene Bella had walked in on earlier between Eric and Edward. James tried to smile and look upbeat, but as the hours dragged by and he failed to identify his disguised lover he was getting quite discouraged. They'd agreed to play it by ear tonight and have fun, but he was worried their versions of "fun" didn't match up. Surely he should have found his partner by now? Shouldn't two people in love intuitively find each other, no matter what their appearance?

He slumped against his chair, kicking at the grass underneath the table. He'd known this was a bad idea. He'd had a bad feeling from the beginning, especially about the Polyjuice. Too much could go wrong, and it was too good a shield for unfaithfulness. A wayward partner could just claim they thought the person they were shagging was their real lover, couldn't they?

He shoved his glass of Firewhisky away, a movement in the densely packed trees nearby catching his interest. He frowning as he saw Rosalie pulling Laurent deeper into the cover of the trees by his waistband. He watched them for a moment, studying their movements closely. Only when he was sure neither of them was the person he was looking for did he smile and pick up his glass again. When Victoria approached them, both James and Bella motioned her toward the empty seat at their table. The more the merrier, he figured.

***

Carlisle licked a path up Charlie's thigh, laughing as the other man eagerly bucked his hips forward. He took the hint, engulfing his cock in his mouth. He'd never been particularly skilled at giving head, but his partner didn't seem to mind, if his groans were anything to go by.

"Merlin," Charlie gasped, shuddering at the unfamiliar sensation. It was if every nerve ending in his body was concentrated in his aching cock, and Carlisle seemed to be hitting them all with his gloriously soft tongue. "More. Please."

Carlisle chuckled around the cock in his mouth, making Charlie cry out and buck his hips up at the vibrations. He could tell the other man wasn't going to last long, so he pulled his mouth off and replaced it with his hand, using his saliva to lubricate its path as he stroked the other man to completion. He rubbed himself anxiously through his own trousers, a sly grin spreading across his face. They had hours left, after all. And he intended to enjoy every single one.

***

Victoria grimaced at the loud moans that drifted through the bank of trees, making it clear that someone, at least, was having a very good time.

"I just don't see how they can –" she motioned vaguely toward the woods, wrinkling her nose as the moaning grew louder. "– without knowing who the other person is."

"Maybe they _do _know," James said, taking a slow sip of his drink. He fervently hoped he wasn't listening to the end of any of his friends' marriages or relationships. He couldn't think of anyone he knew that would agree to sleep around.

"Maybe," Victoria said, though tone was still plainly disbelieving.

"I said it would be alright," Bella said suddenly, startling the other two vampires at the table. She'd been quiet through their entire conversation. "I gave him permission. Especially if I didn't have to know about it. I don't think I could do it, though. Not myself."

Victoria opened her mouth, but James shook his head, rubbing a soothing hand down Bella's back.

"Are you alright?" he asked, surprised when Bella looked up, her eyes free of tears.

"Of course," she said simply, catching his other hand and squeezing it. "I'm lucky to have him, and if he needs to do something like this from time to time then I'll allow it. As long as I'm the one he comes home to, it's worth it."

No one had anything to say to that, so the three sat in silence, listening to the mystery couple grow louder and louder as they shagged.

***

Jacob pulled Jasper off a gasping Mike, gripping his shoulder roughly as he separated the two men.

"What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" he asked the vampire, whose chest was still heaving from his tussle with Mike.

"Is it true?" Jasper asked, wiping at a smear of blood on his lip. Neville had gotten a few good swings in before Jacob had pulled them apart.

Jacob rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"What, that James and Rosalie are off shagging?" he asked, feigned disinterest in his voice.

"Yes," Jasper spat, his eyes flashing.

"I have no idea," Jacob said honestly, sparing a small, sad smile at Mike. He grabbed Jasper's shoulder when the other man tried to storm off, mouthing an apology to Neville as he led the vampire away.

Jasper growled at the way Jacob was manhandling him, feeling strangely self-conscious in his unfamiliar body. He was shorter than he was accustomed to, and Jacob was definitely taller than anyone he knew. He spared a thought about Harry, wondering if his husband often felt this way, being the shorter of two of them, before Mike's words came back to him. Harry, shagging Lavender Brown, of all people. He felt his heart clench, knowing this was all his fault. He'd insisted on the Polyjuice and the anonymity. Harry had gone along with both, reluctantly. And the whole "whatever happens, happens" speech he'd given Harry earlier in the night; Christ, he hadn't meant it! He hadn't felt the slightest attraction to anyone all night, had never really meant to cheat on Harry. And now Harry, his wonderful, innocent husband, was shagging someone else. All because of him.

Jasper shook Jacob's restraining hand off, intending to walk back to the Manor and get away from the party, at least until the Polyjuice wore off. Merlin knew he didn't want to be there when that tramp woke up in Harry's arms; he doubted he'd be able to restrain himself, and last he'd checked, the Ministry did not consider the Killing Curse to be justified in cases of adultery. Especially adultery he'd practically given fucking permission for.

"Calm down," Jacob soothed, wrapping his arms around Jasper from behind. He fought him, but the strong arms were like steel bands around his torso, preventing him from moving. When Jacob started kissing a trail down the back of his neck, Jasper nearly wrenched his arm from the socket trying to get away.

"No," he said hoarsely, fighting off the stronger man's advances. "No. I don't want this. No."

Jacob just tutted softly, forcing the vampire to turn in his embrace.

He felt the other man begin to fight when he lowered his mouth to his, not taking any care to avoid his split lip because he knew Draco loved a bit of pain mixed in with his pleasure.

"Harry," Jasper breathed, instantly recognizing the flavor of Harry's mouth, despite its unfamiliar feeling. He melted against the larger man as Jacob nibbled on his lower lip in just the right way, this time carefully avoiding the oozing cut.

"Fuck, Harry," Draco sighed, resting his forehead against Jacob's chin. He was considerably taller than Harry, and Draco reveled in the feeling of being the smaller partner for once. "I've been looking for you all night. And then Longbottom said –"

Harry kissed him again, harder this time. He could taste the blood on Draco's lip and he licked at it eagerly, savoring the flavor.

"Not tonight," he murmured against Jasper's lips. "Not tonight, Jazz."

Draco felt something inside him warm, repairing whatever had shattered when he'd overheard Mike saying Harry was off shagging Lavender. He'd been so very worried, and so deeply hurt. But more than anything, he'd been viciously angry with himself, knowing he'd put them into that situation.

"I'm sorry," Draco muttered, returning Harry's forceful kiss, his arms winding around his strong back. "I'm sorry, and I'm so glad you're here."

Jasper pulled away, heat flashing in his eyes. "Jacob. I'm so glad you're here, Jacob."

The other man laughed, pulling him flush against him, molding their bodies together. It felt amazing and new and forbidden, enough to have him rock hard within seconds. He rocked against him, rubbing their erections against each other.

"Have to have you," Jasper whispered, pulling at the tight T-shirt that covered Jacob's torso. He succeeded in pulling it over his head, his eyes widening at the broad expanse of the other man's chest. It was heavily muscled and smooth as silk, with no chest hair hiding any of the caramel-colored skin from view.

He ducked his head, his tongue twirling around small, dark nipples before tracing the defined muscles of his abdomen. He could hear Jacob's erratic breathing and the tiny sighs and groans he made every time his tongue came close to the waistband of Jacob's tight leather trousers.

"Please," Jacob moaned, grabbing Jasper's face in his hands and pulling him back up so he could kiss him again. They battled with their tongues, each of them fighting for control of the kiss.

"Please?" Jasper asked, leaning back so he could look into his dark eyes.

"I don't know," Jacob rasped, his hands fumbling with the fasteners on his trousers. "Please get naked so I can fuck you? Please get my trousers off so you can fuck me? I don't know. Just, _please_."

Jasper gasped when Jacob ground against him again, nearly mad with his own arousal. He cursed his lack of wand as his shaking fingers unbuttoned his shirt, practically ripping them from their button holes in his frustration.

When they were both naked the two men paused, taking a moment to study the unfamiliar curves and planes of each other's bodies. It was incredibly erotic, this mix of the comfort of being with an old lover with the newness and excitement of being with someone unfamiliar. Jacob knew he wouldn't last long, so he dropped to his knees, his brown hands steadying Jasper's pale hips as he guided his cock into his mouth. He wanted to get him off as fast as possible so they'd have the chance to really enjoy each other, something that had no possibility of happening while they were so aroused.

"Christ," Jasper gasped, his hands fisting in long dark hair that was much softer and finer than he was used to. He wrapped his fingers in it, comforted by the familiar sight of dark hair twined around pale fingers.

Jacob nearly gagged when Jasper thrust his hips forward, not used to the slim length in his mouth. Draco's cock was a bit shorter but much thicker, and he adjusted his thrusts so Jasper's longer cock didn't hit the back of his throat.

It had been a long time since Draco had surprised him by coming when he wasn't prepared for it, since they knew each other's bodies so well they could easily read the cues. This new body before him had none of the same cues, though, and he nearly choked when a hot burst of salty come spurted into his mouth with no warning.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jasper panted, his fingers tightening to the point of pain in Jacob's hair. "Oh Merlin, sorry, sorry."

Jacob gave the softening cock one last suck, drawing a gasp and a moan from Jasper, before withdrawing. He let the other man guide him down to the ground, crying out in pleasure when he felt a warm hand encircle his length. He had to stop himself from looking down to check himself out, since he had no idea how Jacob's cock measured up to his own. Jasper clearly liked it, if his expression was anything to go by, and that was all that mattered.

Jacob nearly bit through his lip when Jasper slithered down his long, lean body, licking his cock from tip to root – yes, it definitely felt different, but oh so good – before continuing to lick a path down his balls, coming to a stop at his entrance. Jacob followed Jasper's gentle prods, raising his legs to give the other man better access. He moaned and cried out again when the warm tongue swiped over his puckered hole again, sending shivers of pleasure up his spine.

Jasper gently worked his tongue into Jacob's opening, loosening him for the fingers that were now massaging wide circles on his thighs. He reached up, grasping Jacob's erection with his other hand and stroking him in time with the thrusts of his tongue. When he deemed him relaxed enough, Jasper inserted a slick finger inside Jacob, still running his soft tongue over his hole and pumping his cock with his fist. As soon as he ran his finger over the small knot inside him, Jacob came screaming with such intensity that Jasper's could feel him spasming around his finger.

"Oh God," Jacob whimpered as he shuddered through an aftershock from his orgasm, his muscles feeling indescribably loose and relaxed.

"Mmm," Jasper agreed, working a second finger inside Jacob's loosened hole and scissoring his fingers to open him up.

"Are you ready to go again?" Jacob asked, raising his head slightly and opening his eyes with great effort. He saw Jasper's cock bob, its spongy head already wet with precome.

"Go ahead," he said, wiggling his arse suggestively. "I'm loosened enough, and it's thinner than you usually are."

Jasper nodded, pulling his fingers out and aligning his fully hardened cock at Jacob's entrance. He kept his eyes locked on the dark-haired man's as he pushed inside, fighting against the urge to let his lids slide shut as he was encased in warm, wet heat.

Jacob let out the breath he'd been holding as he felt Jasper slide inside. It felt completely different than when Draco fucked him, but still good. He was used to the burning pain and fullness of Draco's cock, but this longer, slimmer cock of Jasper's seemed to slide in with no problem, probing deeper than he'd ever felt before.

He bucked his hips up, encouraging Jasper to set a more punishing pace with his thrusts. He obliged, wrapping his long fingers around Jacob's slim hips and using them as leverage to piston into him harder. Jasper knew the ground underneath Jacob's back must have been rough, but the other man showed no sign of any pain, arching up to meet each thrust with a groan. Before long Jacob's erection was back in full force, and Jasper watched as Jacob wrapped his fingers around himself and pumped mercilessly.

He wanted the moment to last forever, but Jasper felt his release building. He fought off the tightening in his balls as long as he could, leaning forward to press a sloppy kiss to Jacob's open mouth as he drove inside one last time, crying out against the man's lips as he spurted inside him.

He pulled out reluctantly, comfortable but knowing Jacob hadn't found his own release yet. He bent his head and crawled back a few paces, taking Jacob's cock into his mouth. He heard Jacob cry out as he swiped his tongue over the soft head, delving his tongue into the slit and lapping at the salty precome he found there. He gripped the base with his hand and swirled his tongue over the head again, this time letting Jacob thrust further into his mouth. He tightened his lips around the shaft, letting the other man thrust up into his welcoming mouth with increasing speed until his orgasm burst out of him, coating Jasper's throat with thick, hot come.

He swallowed convulsively around Jacob's cock, letting the other man feel the contractions of his throat milking the last of his release out of him. When Jacob pulled back Jasper inched up until their heads were touching, their cheeks resting against each other.

"Amazing," Jacob finally said after long minutes of silence, broken only by their labored breathing that had gradually tapered off to normal.

"Absolutely," Jasper agreed, rolling so he could kiss the dark-haired man tenderly before laying back, both of them exhausted and drifting toward sleep.

When they woke hours later, Draco could see shafts of sunlight through the tent's canopy above them. He groaned, sore from spending the night on the ground, and pulled Harry even more securely into his arms. The Polyjuice had worn off sometime after they had fallen asleep, and their bodies were their own once more.

Harry cuddled closer to Draco, relishing the feel of the familiar frame tucked against his. He'd enjoyed playing around in a different body, enjoyed the way sensations were different as Jacob as well and the way Draco's skin felt so different against his tongue while he was Jasper, but it had only been exciting because it _was_ Draco, just in a different body.

"You were jealous," he said softly, his fingers absently twirling in Draco's fine blond hair.

"I wasn't jealous," Draco scoffed, disentangling himself from Harry so he could prop himself up on his elbows and look at his husband. "I was _murderously_ angry and hating myself for putting you in this situation. I'm so sorry, love."

Harry grinned, stretching and tucking his arms under his head to pillow it from the hard ground.

"I had a plan," he said slyly, his green eyes sparkling.

"A plan?" Draco echoed, raising his eyebrows at the wicked grin on Harry's face.

"Yes, a plan. I wasn't about to let you shag someone else, Draco, nor was I going to myself. I knew I only had to kiss everyone at the party – I was sure I'd recognize your taste when I found you, and I did."

Draco's eyes narrowed as he pounced on Harry, their bare chests sliding together.

"You already knew who I was before you kissed me, you prat. Tackling Longbottom when he said you were shagging around on me was a fairly large clue, even for a witless Gryffindor like you."

Harry laughed, lifting his head so he could press a quick kiss to Draco's pouting lips.

"True. I'd narrowed it down to Jasper or Laurent. Or Jessica, but I didn't see her all night."

Draco glared at him, his grey eyes swirling.

"Does that mean you kissed more than a dozen people?" he asked, his voice deceptively calm.

"More or less. Except for Luna and Greg – she snogged me and then asked me for a threesome," Harry admitted, managing another short laugh before Draco growled and captured his mouth in a punishing kiss, muttering about reasserting his claim over his husband's mouth.

Draco didn't let him up this time until he'd kissed Harry breathless, his customary Malfoy smirk firmly in place while he watched his husband gasp. He stood, pulling Harry up with him and calling for Tibby. The house-elf appeared with two sets of robes, handing one to each wizard and then presenting them with their wands.

"We should see how everyone's doing," Harry said, belting his robes in place. "Especially Neville. Poor guy."

Draco shrugged, but he couldn't help but feel sorry for the man. The mere _thought_ of Harry with someone else had nearly driven him insane; he couldn't imagine what Longbottom must be going through at the moment.

They wandered back into the main area of the tent, waking guests as they went. Neville had passed out near the bar, and Harry had Tibby administer a Hangover Potion before they helped him up. Draco woke Hermione, Hannah and Dean, who were all slumped over a table near the edge of the heavy swath of trees that had taken Draco and a small army of house-elves nearly all week to Conjure.

Tibby had already stumbled across Ron outside in one of the flower gardens, and the redhead was walking sheepishly back toward his wife when they saw him. Seamus and Oliver had awakened in each other's arms, laughing about their experience as women the night before. Ginny was already sitting at one of the tables sipping coffee, motioning to Dean to join her.

Harry could have throttled Theo when he saw Hannah's face as she stumbled across her husband sprawled across Pansy's naked body. He would have intervened, but the blonde woman shook her head, gathering Theo's clothes with the air of someone who had done it before. She gave him a small smile and shrugged, heaving Theo up off the ground without a second glance at Pansy.

The dark-haired woman didn't look at all ashamed of herself as she accepted the robes Tibby held out for her. She looked around for her husband, only a little perplexed that she didn't immediately find him. A shriek from the trees answered her question soon enough, leaving her smirking.

"_Blaise_?"

Neville couldn't help himself. It started with giggling, but by the time Lavender and Blaise had emerged from the trees, wrapped in the robes Tibby had provided but with leaves and sticks still in their hair, he was laughing hysterically.

Lavender blanched when she saw him, surrounded by Harry and Draco and laughing like a lunatic.

"Neville, I –"

He shook his head, fighting for composure. Suddenly he saw last night for what it truly was; a gift from above. He couldn't imagine being saddled with that inconsiderate, incompetent whore for his entire life. She'd just unknowingly done him a huge favor.

"You thought he was Harry," Neville managed between gasping laughs, leaning heavily on the man in question to help him stay upright. "You thought he was Harry, so you fucked him."

Lavender gaped, obviously trying to find an angle that would work to her advantage. She found herself on the business end of Draco's wand when she tried to approach them.

"Just leave, Brown," he said coldly, his disdain for her clear. "I doubt you'll be hearing from Longbottom again, but you'll sure as _hell_ never be hearing from Harry. Gather your things and leave before I set the wards to expel you."

She was obviously shaken at Draco's words, and even more so when she turned to Blaise for support and found him back beside his wife, smirking at her misfortune. She gathered her clothes and her wand with as much dignity as she could muster before storming off to the gates to Disapparate.

"Good riddance," Neville said, his breath hitching from his laughter.

"I second that," Luna said as Greg helped her climb a large log as they made their way toward the group. While almost everyone else looked tired and hung over, Luna and Greg looked well-rested and extremely satisfied.

Harry and Draco exchanged a startled look when Luna marched over and draped an arm around Neville, winking at them as she and Greg led him toward the table Tibby had set with tea and pastries. Harry heard her whisper something in Neville's ear, watching with interest as the shy man blushed immediately but made no move to pull away. He raised an eyebrow at Draco, both of them wondering if Luna and Greg had finally found their third.

End

**A/N: **The characters were drawn from a hat at random, except for Harry, whom I could only picture as Jacob. *grins*

In case you didn't figure them all out:

Harry (_Jacob_) married to Draco (_Jasper_)

Hermione (_Victoria_) married to Ron (_Jessica_)

Ginny (_Emmett_) in a relationship with Dean (_James_)

Seamus (_Esme_) in a relationship with Oliver (_Alice_)

Blaise (_Laurent_) married to Pansy (_Charlie_)

Neville (_Mike_) in a relationship with Lavender (_Rosalie_)

Hannah (_Bella_) married to Theo (_Carlisle_)

Greg (_Eric_) married to Luna (_Edward_)


End file.
